My Crazy Life

WHAT DOES CYNICAL LOOK LIKE??



As I was on my way home tonight from work I was thinking, I really have become a cynical person. This is really hard to admit, but along with being cynical, I have also become judgemental. Why is that?

This was an especially hard weekend and I will gladly give you a peak into my Sat. Sun. life. I do not expect you reading this to know some of these terms, but since I am simple minded, I'll keep it simple minded.

Sat: Female drug dealer stabbed in neck down to chest, open chest, planning on going back to the OR, unstable blood pressure, O2 sats keep dropping. What the heck? I don't know what else in my scope of care to do? What perfect timing...Dr walks in. Lets Bronch her. I think she is going into ARDS, but what do I know, I just a Respiratory Therapist. Lungs are bloody, but we already knew that. Increase vent settings. To unstable to go to OR. Put it off until Sunday.
Crazy family, but is that really her family? There are several different people who claim to be her mamma. We already know mamma died several years ago.

SUN: She seems to be doing some what better..UUH....Until...she comes back from surgery. Chest closed and a new chest tube in. O2 sats dropping again. Nurse calling me to come "fix" her. I perform magic. My wand must be broke, because it's not working. Call Trauma Dr., He is scrubbing in for surgery, call the resident. Blood gas, CXR, and change settings on vent. We can't go up on O2 any more. She is already on 100%. She is in ARDS, I am telling y'all. We need to do something else. But what, the only other option is High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilator that is last ditch effort and they are NEVER to anxious to start one. Why doesn't the resident just come and look at her. Call Blood gas results are crap. Almost EXACTLY the same. Finally, he is going to come up to the unit. What do you think "Dr." "Oh lets just ride it out for a while. " WHAT? Ride it out, until when? We're going to wait until she codes, then do something.
What the heck? Why didn't you just sell that crack rock for $5 lady. Then you wouldn't be in this mess.

Ok, now multiply that by 4, through in a couple of other patients and you have a day in the ICU where I work. No not all were drug dealers. One was a 17 y/o girl who was doing the drugs and in a wreck, one was a lawyer who was also in a wreck and fractured C3-4. One was a man from Baton Rouge, up here with business and missed the curb & hit his head after several glasses of wine, and one has been there for so long he is seriously rotting in the bed. He codes several times a week.

Now, Why am I cynical?

The other way to look at it is, she is still God's creation. There is no doubt that she has been trough a lot in her lifetime. That is really sad. No body should have to face whatever pushed her to this point in her life. So, while I am cynical, I am still sensitive to the fact that she is a human and God loves her no matter what!!