WHAT DOES CYNICAL LOOK LIKE??



As I was on my way home tonight from work I was thinking, I really have become a cynical person. This is really hard to admit, but along with being cynical, I have also become judgemental. Why is that?

This was an especially hard weekend and I will gladly give you a peak into my Sat. Sun. life. I do not expect you reading this to know some of these terms, but since I am simple minded, I'll keep it simple minded.

Sat: Female drug dealer stabbed in neck down to chest, open chest, planning on going back to the OR, unstable blood pressure, O2 sats keep dropping. What the heck? I don't know what else in my scope of care to do? What perfect timing...Dr walks in. Lets Bronch her. I think she is going into ARDS, but what do I know, I just a Respiratory Therapist. Lungs are bloody, but we already knew that. Increase vent settings. To unstable to go to OR. Put it off until Sunday.
Crazy family, but is that really her family? There are several different people who claim to be her mamma. We already know mamma died several years ago.

SUN: She seems to be doing some what better..UUH....Until...she comes back from surgery. Chest closed and a new chest tube in. O2 sats dropping again. Nurse calling me to come "fix" her. I perform magic. My wand must be broke, because it's not working. Call Trauma Dr., He is scrubbing in for surgery, call the resident. Blood gas, CXR, and change settings on vent. We can't go up on O2 any more. She is already on 100%. She is in ARDS, I am telling y'all. We need to do something else. But what, the only other option is High Frequency Oscillatory Ventilator that is last ditch effort and they are NEVER to anxious to start one. Why doesn't the resident just come and look at her. Call Blood gas results are crap. Almost EXACTLY the same. Finally, he is going to come up to the unit. What do you think "Dr." "Oh lets just ride it out for a while. " WHAT? Ride it out, until when? We're going to wait until she codes, then do something.
What the heck? Why didn't you just sell that crack rock for $5 lady. Then you wouldn't be in this mess.

Ok, now multiply that by 4, through in a couple of other patients and you have a day in the ICU where I work. No not all were drug dealers. One was a 17 y/o girl who was doing the drugs and in a wreck, one was a lawyer who was also in a wreck and fractured C3-4. One was a man from Baton Rouge, up here with business and missed the curb & hit his head after several glasses of wine, and one has been there for so long he is seriously rotting in the bed. He codes several times a week.

Now, Why am I cynical?

The other way to look at it is, she is still God's creation. There is no doubt that she has been trough a lot in her lifetime. That is really sad. No body should have to face whatever pushed her to this point in her life. So, while I am cynical, I am still sensitive to the fact that she is a human and God loves her no matter what!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!




























Just thought I would share some of the most recent scrapbook pages I have created.

NOW, Look what I got for Christmas -->

















I have not had time to learn all of the specifics of my new camcorder. However, from what I do know about it, my favorite feature is the ability to take digital photos and then go right back to the video feature. As for this other "black box", I love it!! My new external hard drive. 25o GB or something like that...I really leave all of the number talk up to Mike. After exhausting a 2 GB and a 4 GB jump drive, he finally realized that I needed an external hard drive. "YEA!!!"

Ashley's Favorites















Time of year: Winter
Time of day: 9pm (bedtime)
Food: Peanut butter and syrup sandwich
Color: Blue
Animal: Cats
Subject: Science
Place 2 eat: CiCi's pizza! (cinnamon rolls)
Music: No body's Perfect by Hannah Montana
TV show: Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Movie: Night at the Museum
Clothes: Blue jeans
Vacation: Roddy Tree Ranch with the whole family
Birthday Memory: Making shower gel at Bath Junkie ( The NON- birthday party)
BFF: BethAnn

What do I have to say about Ash? She is so much like me it is scarrrrry!! The only difference is she talks more than me. Wow how she has grown. We celebrated her 10th birthday on December 22. That was a Saturday and I could not take off of work so, we just celebrated in the hotel in Dallas. She said that she had a great day!! I am so glad. We are facing the point in her growing up that every warm blooded parent has anxieties about. She is in between a little girl and a pre-teen. Oh the emotional roller coaster we ride on frequently. But I have to say that she has been a great joy to raise this far. She has a great sense of humor, a dedicated friend, a wonderful piano player, sporty, and loves fashion. I am sure I could go on and on. I love you sweetie and can't wait to see where this year takes us.

Payton's Favorite's












Time of Day: Morning and watching TV
TV show(s): Hannah Montana and Suite Life of Zack & Cody
Song: Life is a Highway
Place 2 go: Museum
Color: Everything, but my favorite, favorite, favorite is brown
Animal: Cats
Place 2 eat: Soup er Salad
Word: "cookienut" (is that a real word?)
Shoes: All of them (not only am I raising my daughter right, but my son also.)
Drink: Chocolate Milk and Orange Juice
Food: Brown beans and chicken nuggets. (We argued about the brown beans, b/c he will not eat them!
Movie: CARS!!!!
Thing to do outside: Jump on the trampoline

We had such a great year watching my sweet boy grow into a wonderful 4 year old. What a blessing it is to have children. He keeps me laughing, worn out, happy, irritated, loved, full of pride, did I mention laughing?

My annoying five.

1. Shoes not being on tiny feet when we arrive at our destination. IT NEVER FAILS!!

2. Loud eating / smacking. This is not just an adult annoyance, it has been with me for as long as I remember. I can not handle hearing someone else eat their food. YUCK!

3. Open cabinets, drawers, or closet doors. I have cultivated this pet peeve from childhood as well. My sister - total opposite. She doesn't care if all the cabinets are open.

4. Parents who only pull half way up the drive when dropping their precious babes off at school. Come on people!! There is enough room for 4 more cars to let out their children if you would just pull up. It will not hurt them to walk several more feet to the front door.

5. Retail clerks who feel the need to ask you every 5 seconds if anything has jumped out at you. No, but if you keep jumping out at me, I'm leaving.