Mastermind

Being that I do what I do, and what I do just happens to involve a lot of people who've had trauma to their brain,  I find it interesting that I am trying to grasp the concept of how beautiful and intricate the human brain is.  I mean, over 100 billion neurons and it only weights a couple of pounds.  Approximately a quadrillion synapses in the human brain alone!  Is that even a real number...Seriously!?!  The hologram of thoughts that our brain can think in just one minute is impossible to count.  

It's no wonder that when Satan wants to attack us, his portal of entry is the brain.  If the Bible says "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." (Prov 23:7) then of course the enemy wants us to be self critical, worry about the future, or even doubt our Creator.  He is really good at having me believe that I am unacceptable as I am.  He is great at telling me to look at my friends and notice that I don't belong there.  He is even better at using my past hurts and hangups to get me down.  


As I have grown spiritually, I now realize a couple of things about the plot of the enemy.  When I made a commitment to press in and really seek the face of God, things were about to really get shaken up.  I've heard people talk about their journey and the difficult things they've faced while walking on the path less traveled.  My goodness, I've survived some of these battles waged in the spiritual realm.  But, I don't think I was really prepared to be attacked the way I have been since I made that vow.

My girls are the best.  They are mom's, and wives, and sisters, and daughters who desire God's best for their families.  These ladies and their husbands are established and connected in this community.  Several are teachers, a couple are entrepreneurs, a pastor's wife, attorney's wives, it's just a whole gamut of wonderful women.  Some work at home, some work outside the home. We are a mash up of all things girly and wonderful!  We are LIFE GIVING!

So, ya see, Satan is really good at getting me to question my existence in this circle of friends.  He tells me lies.  These lies go from, you don't exercise enough or eat healthy like these women.  You're fat and don't deserve to be such good friends with so and so.  You're divorced and judged.  All of these women are married and have great husbands.  You defiantly don't make enough money.  Look at your life and then look at theirs.  See, you don't belong...do ya?  To which my first response is, this is a lie and I do not receive it.  But day after day of hearing this tends to wear on me and makes me start to question.  Do I really belong?  He's smart!  He knows exactly what to say to me to get me to eventually crumble.  He is keenly aware of my rejection issues from my past.  

The good thing is, my girls have a sense that something is wrong.  And when I am able to rally my boldness and speak out the lies I was believing, it just melts away.  I feel loved! I am blessed!  I do belong!


My fleshy hologram thoughts of rejection, judgment, and indigence disintegrate and I am reminded that not only does he know my name...But He knows every single thought!